Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Katie's Guide to Life: Part 1

Facebook should be the ultimate indicator of when it is okay to get engaged.
It's really a simple process.
Follow me kids and I'll show you in 3 easy steps how to stop all your friends mom's from whispering behind your back about your irrationally quick engagement and the ultimate doom to your rushed marriage.

Step 1: Think about getting married. (A logical step. So logical, in fact, that it often seems to get overlooked.) Then, get on facebook and head over to your profile page.

Step 2: Check out your profile pictures, recent pictures, wall comments, statuses (stati?),mutual friends, etc.

Step 3: Ask yourself these questions: Do I have one or two profile pictures with the potential recipient of my pending proposal? (by golly I just created a tongue twister) Do we have a solid amount of mutual friends? A few wall comments from each other that appear on the first page of our profiles? Pictures with each other that go at least three albums back?

If the answer to these questions is yes...Great. Proceed. You have my blessing.

Mazel tov.

Here are some facebook red flags that are fairly good indicators you should hold off on popping the question:

1. They are not friends with your brothers, sisters, parents, roommates, life-long best friends, that weird high school friend or anyone who is even remotely connected to you. (Exception: Grandparents. Anyone being facebook friends with grandparents is weird.)

2. It still says on your "recent news" that you are "now friends with (insert significant other here)". You know that joke where you write on someone's wall and say "Oh look...we're facebook friends, guess that means we're real friends now! ha. ha. ha. ha." Well, that just doesn't work with fiance's.

3. If you aren't tagged in a single picture with them, but your profile picture before last is with your most recent ex. How ticked will your fiance be when all the girls in your ward get on to facebook-stalk your recent engagement and they all think you're marrying the girl two pictures back? I'll tell you how ticked: WAY.

You may think it's silly to care what people are going to think about your facebook when you get engaged, but lets be honest, its a legitimate concern. No matter what you tell yourself, they are going to look, and judge, and you will care. Please, its facebook.

Which is why I have provided this lovely guide to avoiding this problem.

And you can trust me on this. My roommates and I are top notch facebook stalkers.

You're welcome.



  1. you are hilarious.
    and yes you are good facbook stalkers thats for sure.

    oh and just looking at your "where you at?" over on the side...someone from Seoul, Seoul just checked your blog an hour ago. got a friend over there??

  2. good thing i've read this.
    i'll no for future reference the right way to go about doing a facebook engagement.