Tuesday, October 25, 2011

We like sportz and we don't care who knows.

I tried to look up a video clip to post here that would help me apologize for the long blogging-hiatus I have taken. 
Instead, I ended up watching a 10 minute clip from Plato's Apology at 12:49 in the morning. 
This proves 3 things:  
1. I am still an English nerd
2. I still stay up way too late doing stupid things
3. This is a great excuse for not blogging as clearly nothing in my life has changed.

This last things is fairly close to reality. I have done nothing but school and work for so long. 

Until recently, when something awful happened. 
Something I swore I would never do. 
Something that is painful for me to admit to the blogging world, particularly to those who remember this post.

I'm not going to actually say what I'm talking about, but I will say that once a week someone who lives in my apartment puts on cleats and goes to play a sport that nobody on the field can actually play...and she loves it. SO much.
Said person says every night to her boyfriend "Is today my football game??"
And he says "No, it's next Tuesday."
Said person lays in bed every night and says to her roommates "I just...love football...I just....love it."
Said person also retains the right to still make fun of women's flag football as it is still as ridiculous as ever.

Example from a recent game
Ref: "Illegal blocking on the offense." 
Girl: "Wait...us?" 
Ref: "Yes...you are on offense right now." 
Girl: "Oh....Wait, no, no, no. We didn't do that." 
Ref: "Yes you did."
Girl: "Oh, uh....no we didn't." 
Ref: "Uh...yes you did."
Girl: "No. This isn't fair! I was just standing here trying to stop her!" 
Ref: "Yeah...and you did it illegally. While you were on offense. An illegal block on the offense." 
Girl: "That doesn't make any sense."

Said person also recently received a tip that there was going to be one extra game offered to whoever called it first after receiving the e-mail. And said person may or may not have spent upwards of three hours hitting refresh on her browser just to make sure she didn't miss the e-mail that was going out to 40 other teams as well. 
Guess who got the extra game? 

And speaking of sports (all I ever want to do these days,) my MFA program put together a Women's volleyball team this semester.
Yes. Creative Writers. Playing Volleyball. 
(I capitalized every word in those last three phrases because as a creative writer I can make these kinds of decisions and nobody can argue with me.) 
Anyways, long story short we ended up in the championship game of D3. 
It was a lot like the Mighty Ducks D3 where they no longer have Gordon Bombay* as their coach and they feel lost and alone without him.
Except for us it wasn't a lack of a coach.
More that we remembered at the last minute that we were a bunch of nerdy English master's students and the whole "sports" thing became too much for us.
We lost by 3 in the fifth game. 
Thanks for bringing it up. 

* One time I was Emilio Estevez's waitress. It was all I could do to resist saying "quack...quack...quack.quack.quack.quack!!"