Friday, June 29, 2012

A Bug Story.

I'm kind of a...bug person. 
I know that sounds weird, but what I mean by that is that bugs don't normally creep me out. 
I'm just not the type of girl to panic when a little guy crawls across my bathroom floor, or a moth comes in the window. 
I usually try to scoop them up or shoo them out (sometimes even with my bare hands) and then move on. 
I have never, in my recollection, intentionally killed any kind of insect or spider. 
Just not my thing. 

...tonight Cj is out late picking up his cousin from the airport, making tonight my first time going to bed without him since we've been married. 
I wasn't really that nervous, although I did make him burrito-tuck me before he left, just to be safe. 

About 10 minutes after I heard the front door close, I rolled over in bed to see a giant...something...moving quickly down the wall and then across the bed. 
I jumped out of bed, grabbed my cell phone, and ran into the hall as I observed the thing move slowly across my comforter. 

I called Cj. 
I told him that it was a spider the size of my palm. 
He didn't believe me. 
He's right. 
I was exaggerating. 
But it was white, with brown spots, which is probably worse. 
I told him I was positive it was the kind that kills you. 

He told me to shake out all of the bedding and then go back to bed. 
I hung up and said "you are a mature adult" a few times out loud, then, I took everything off the bed and shook. 

Naturally I did this with my mouth and eyes closed so the spider couldn't come flying into any openings. I even made sure to blow outwards from my nose continually so that if it approached my nose holes it would be greeted with some kind of spidery-mount-vesuvius. 
My ear-holes were the real Achilles-heel in the plan, but sometimes a girl's just got to suck it up and go to battle. 

At some point during all the shaking I realized that the spider might not actually be in the bedding anymore. It might have actually moved into the bed frame itself. 
I asked Cj, but he said I couldn't sleep on the couch.

Plan B was organized. 
I made a bed for myself on the floor out of all the shaken-out bedding. 
I made sure to do this in a decently clear spot so I could see that thing coming. 

I continued work on my lesson plan for tomorrow morning. 
That's when it happened. 
I felt movement on my left shoulder. I looked. 
Nothing was on it. 
BUT, as if on cue, the spider came crawling out onto the pillow just above my shoulder! 

You've got to be kidding me. 

I then spent the next twenty minutes chasing it around my blankets and then the bedroom and then, the kitchen floor using mainly a notebook and my cell phone to steer it one way or another before I would panic when it would come too close to my hand with it's poisonous brown spots. 
What a moral dilemma. 
I couldn't kill it based on my gandhi-like approach to bugs, but there was no way I was sleeping tonight knowing that it was roaming the aging linoleum of our tiny apartment. 

Eventually, this is how things ended: 

I feel content knowing that Cj will come home to our largest bowl, upside down on the floor of our kitchen, left to deal with the moral dilemma I could not bring myself to face. 

The irony of all of this is I will probably be awake, worried about that poor spider, under that bowl, all alone, in the dark. 

You'd think I'd lose sleep over the more important ethical issues of this world. 
Like the fact that they made a movie about Katy Perry. 
And that it is in 3D.

Maybe that spider would be better off dead. 


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

It Just Gets Better.

I started teaching again yesterday. 

It is always a bigger ordeal than I think it will be to "orient" a class full of freshman as to the inner workings of a writing class. 

It feels like everything is a giant surprise to them. 

"Three papers? Really? Wow." 
"Grades? Honestly? That's nuts." 
"No snack time? Because in high school..." 

They're so precious. 

It was my turn to be surprised when a student came up to me during the break to inform me that he could not participate in the class Facebook group because he was paranoid about Facebook. 

Understandable. Everyone has their "things."
I suggested making a Facebook profile that had all privacy settings on and only using the account for class purposes. 

He said it wasn't other people he was afraid of. He told me that the actual Facebook corporation was out to get him. 

Rough life pal. I've heard Zuckerberg's a beast. 

I asked my student if he would be okay with a class blog instead. 
He said he'd have to call his parents and see. 

You takes all kinds. 

The good news is, with that kind of fear of the internet, I can be positive that kid will never see this post. 

No harm, no foul. 


P.S.- Go Heat! 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Day Off.

I woke up with a headache. 
So we went back to bed. 
Then when we woke up again Cj was feeling sick (flu?) 

We were trapped. 
Based on our waking-up-track-record (0-2) we just couldn't risk going to sleep again. 
But, both of us being sick, we couldn't really get out of bed. 

So...we stayed in bed. All day. 
I got up once to make nachos.

I'm not saying every day should be like this. 
But I can't say I'm mad it happened. 

Here's to the occasional sick day. 
And to eating nachos in bed. 


Friday, June 1, 2012

Life Changes

It's blurry but its real. After 23 years of virgin hair I finally took the plunge and dyed it. 
And by plunge I mean I did that thing where you walk into the water with your arms up, standing on your tip-toes because it's cold and you are a big wuss. 
And by all that I mean I only dyed the bottom of my hair. 
But still, if you know me at all you know this is big. 
I don't really do "change." 

It's called a melt, and I love how it turned out! 

I texted this picture to my mother this morning and the conversation went like this: 

Katie: "Check out my new hair!" 

Mom: "I don't get it. What is different?" 

Katie: "Mom. It's completely blonde on the bottom now."

Mom: "...on purpose?" 

As if half my hair accidentally marinated in peroxide for 15-20 minutes with a thorough rinse and condition afterward. 

Oh Mom.

News #2: I was brushing my teeth this morning and part of my tooth fell out. 

Really. That's the whole story. 

There I was, doing my up-and-downs, right before my back-and-forths, when a big chunk of my left molar just popped off. 

Is this normal? 
Do teeth do this? 
Don't I already know the answer to these questions? 

All I do know is I have spent the evening testing various tooth-hole fillers. 

Things to NOT replace a molar with: 

peppermint gum 
tinfoil (ouch)
my winter semester term paper 
a tic-tac (pre-sucked) 
the love of the childhood pet I never had 

I figure if I don't find something soon I'll have to do something drastic, like go to the dentist. 
And pay someone money. 

Heaven forbid I finally have an injury that can't be fixed by superglue. 

I'll keep you posted.