I have been exremely anxious the past few days.
It's hard to pinpoint or explain on a blog why, especially when my mom reads my blog and I know how she worries. (Calm down mom)
Tonight, I sat down on my bed around 10:50 and just felt so out of sorts that I jumped up, threw on spandex (long spandex. Naturally I was already wearing some form of spandex, just not the running kind) and headed off on a run.
And I ran hard.
Which sounds so stupid and teen angsty when I write it.
Like...oh my gosh. My life is so hard. I'm emotionally distraught. Sarah McLachlan is playing in the background. This is a montage....kind of teen angst.
But it wasn't. It just felt good.
I ran around for a while until I ended up at my favorite Provo thinking spot.
Its one of those large maps of the world they paint onto cement at parks and elementary schools and all the places Miss South Carolina wasn't referring to.
I like that place the best because when Provo is really getting to me, nothing feels better than laying on top of the entire area of northern utah and pretending for a second that I am bigger than all of this.
Eventually I had to get up again, and when I did, I felt a little better.
I ran home, jumped in my car to go pick up a friend from work, turned on the radio to find "Only the Good Die Young" blasting from a local station.
I thought about this time last year when I was in the Energy Solutions Arena (I still want to call it the Delta Center. I don't cope well with change) sitting top row next to my Erin (miss you) listening to Mr. Joel himself belt out those lyrics like he was still young and persuasive.
I rolled down my windows.
And, despite the song's obvious implications, I felt inspired.
But, less inspired to try and convince a catholic girl to forsake her values, and more inspired to embrace this perfect time in my life.
Honestly, I'm only young once, right? What in the world am I doing wasting it feeling so anxious and worried?
I mean, if I'm still getting inspiration from Billy Joel lyrics I obviously have a while before I grow up, so in the mean time I'm going to slow down and enjoy.
And I'm going to start by heading to California for the weekend to soak in some sun
My happy thought for the day: California sunshine and when Erin and I got to use these tickets to see not only Billy Joel, but Elton John with him.
More happy days to come.