Saturday, December 4, 2010

Friday Funny Story(ies).

I know it is Saturday and not Friday, but Saturday doesn't start with an F, and I was aiming for alliteration.
I would have posted this yesterday but I kept forgetting my blogger password.
Logical people use the same password for most things they do.
I, instead, like to make up a completely random password every time I need a new one, usually thinking of something completely unrelated to my life or anything normal.
I also change these passwords quite often, just to really mix things up.
To top it off I run two separate e-mail accounts and always forget which one I use where.
It's only after that I realize all of this is the worst idea ever.
I hate so much about the way I choose to be.
(Name the quote^^^for ten bonus points)

Funny Story #1:
On Thursday one of my contacts ripped so I spent most of thursday and friday only being able to see out of one eye, because I didn't have money to get a new pair just yet. (Told you being poor is funny.)
Anyways, the result of seeing 20/20 from one eye and 20/5 million from the other eye was me feeling extremely disoriented and dizzy all day, and also missing my water bottle three times in English 385 due to my lack of depth perception.
I'm still not sure if this is also a side effect, but I dreamed a crazy dream Thursday night that my friend Eric kept posting facebook status updates about onions. (weird? But, a dream, so understandable.) I woke up late the next morning, put in my one contact and rushed out the door to class. On my way that same friend Eric walked out of his apartment and I, still extremely disoriented, made the comment, "So, Eric, what's up with all these facebook updates about onions?"
Oh man.
As soon as I said said it my brain said, "Wait. Dummy. That was a dream!"
I panicked.
"Onions?" said Eric. "Onions?"
"You said that twice." I said. "You said that twice."
Then I didn't know what to do.
If this had been any other normal day, where I could see clearly out of BOTH of my eyes, I would have told him all about the dream and we would have chuckled a bit and moved on.
However, I was feeling way too confused about what just happened, and my brain was on overdrive from trying to decide if that was a door coming at my face or something I should high-five, so I did a terrible thing.
I lied.
"Oh wait," I said, "That must have been my other friend Eric (insert last name here)"
"You have another friend with the exact same name as me?"
More panic.
"Uh...yeah..." I lied more. "I think he's in a cooking class."
Guys. Cut me some slack. Lying with only one eye is harder than it looks (no pun intended.)
I thought about repenting for it, but decided that the creeped out look on Eric's face was punishment enough.
I only have so many friends so I've got to stop pulling stunts like this.

Funny Story #2:
Supervising women's flag football today was awesome.
It was championship day, which always brings out large crowds of obnoxious boyfriends who try and yell instructions to their girlfriends on the field.
They usually yell things like, "Sweetheart, don't run out of bounds. They'll make you stop."
or, more condescendingly,
"What was that call ref?? She didn't even mean to hit her! It was an accident!"
Today's story isn't really a story, but more of a quote.
In the Division III championship, one of the girls missed a catch in the endzone.
Walking back to her team we heard her say,
"Man, guys, that ball is hard to catch! It's like a dreidel!"
A dreidel. What an analogy.

Speaking of which, Happy Hanukkah to all my jewish friends, especially that girl.



  1. man katie the stories you have. always make me laugh. i mean...onions!! cooking class?! haha love it.

  2. Oh my goodness. Will you please write a book?

  3. the office bonus points for eli!