I thought, "Boy my head feels kind of weird."
And then I thought about it a little more and I thought, "Wow. My body has that strange feeling too."
And then it hit me.
I was in the shower. And that strange feeling was water.
Confession: I spent the last weekend in Milan with some friends and because of our rather "economical" way of travel, it had been more than a few days since I had showered.
A story: So we were just hanging out in downtown Milan in front of this big, beautiful cathedral when some men walked up to us, took our hands and put some birdseed in them which instantly made a crowd of pigeons lethally attack our arms. This was supposedly really nice of them (we did get some sweet pictures, probably along with pigeon cancer of some kind) so we smiled and thanked them. They did it a few more times, so when we were finished being nuzzled by a large family of undoubtedly fierce disease carriers (though, I've already had swine flu so I'm pretty sure I'm immune to whatever else those little guys have to throw at me) Tracy and I thought it would be nice to give them a little change for their good deed. Which brings us to...THIS conversation:
Me: "Gratzi!" (holds out 70 cents. more than 643 times the amount that the actual popcorn kernels they gave us were worth)
Bird seed guy: Ten Euros
Me: (knowing that he is obviously confused by his bad English, I was sure he meant ten cents) "Oh, that's okay. I'll give you 70."
Bird seed guy: (getting mad) "Ten Euros!"
Me: "What? You just gave me bird seed!"
Bird seed guy: "You give me ten Euros!"
Me: "But you already gave it to me!"
Bird seed con-man: "Ten Euros! Ten Euros!"
Me: .....................................................................(turns around. walks away.)
The funny part was. I think he was for real.
Everyone has something they need to learn from life.
That guy's lesson: If he just threw that seed in the microwave and popped it up with a little butter he could most definitely get 10 Euros for it at his local movie theater.
But not from me. Or from those nasty pidgeons. We're a tough crowd.
USA. All the way.