June's Birth Video

I have been a terrible blogger the last few years and I have plenty of excuses to show for it:

1. Last year was a total wash. If you did any kind of math after my miscarriage post you will realize that with only a few weeks between pregnancies I was essentially pregnant for A YEAR. You read that right. I had a half-an-elephant pregnancy. On top of that, I have pretty gnarly pregnancies and threw up nearly every day of that year with plenty of nausea and other awesome symptoms that I can't remember because I haven't slept since November of 2014.

2. We got a Hulu Plus subscription.

So, as you can see it is totally legitimate that I have been off my game. But now I'm back like Lebron to Cleveland AND I'M JUST AS SORRY.

Things that happened while I was MIA:

1. I had a baby.
2. I didn't cut my hair (That is real. I have forgotten to cut my hair since February of last year. Not even a trim! I just never even thought about it! Should I do it now?? Or has that ship sailed? Am I slowly becoming that hippie lady at the park with long, stringy, grey hair doing weird meditation who only got that way because she forgot to cut her hair for so long it seemed like there was no other choice???)

That seems like the main updates needed to get us back up to speed. Rather than go into details about my pregnancy, birth, etc. I have opted to instead make this handy video.

Before you watch:
1. Instead of taking weekly pictures Cj and I decided it would be more fun to film a little bit every week. There is not a lot of film from the first trimester because we had a few concerns with baby girl and I was scared I was going to miscarry again so I was afraid of documenting anything.
2. Baby girl was breech MANY times. At 35 weeks we found out she was breech, and she then flipped back and forth almost every week until she was born. Thus the weird exercises/positions in the later part of the video.
3. Some of this footage is embarrassing. This video is for posterity so I wanted to include all of it, regardless of how silly I look. (Pretty dang silly)
4. Some of this footage is emotional and (to me) sacred. I'm sharing because I am amazed by how beautiful birth and new life is and I think it is something worth sharing.
5. This video is super amateur. I make no excuses. I have a master's degree in poetry so I am basically unqualified to do anything right ever.

#shouldvebeengrading

A friend of mine from grad school posted tonight about how there should be an English teacher hashtag for all the things we do when we are trying to avoid grading.

#shouldvebeengrading

And I realized that one of the only times I blog is when it is really late at night and I have so many papers to grade I will literally (not figuratively) do anything to avoid reading another paper.

So, here I am, with fifty papers between me and sleep, and I've decided to blog again.

Now, two things before I begin:

1. I appreciate all the love and support shown to me in relation to my last post. I had a lot of nerves and reservations about posting but I felt like it was the right time/it felt right in general. I connected with a lot of amazing people with similar experiences and stories over that post and connection is always good and beautiful and stuff.

2. I have big plans to write up June's birth story for the blog. I wrote a version for my journal with lots of details that should stay in my journal. Blog version pending.

For now, I just want to write a follow-up to a different story in my life. Does anyone remember this post from years ago? It was like the blog version of subtweeting. I never told anyone the story behind it, and I will take it to my grave.

But, you should all know that two months ago my mom got a check in the mail with my name on it. It turns out that he-who-must-not-be-named got sued by other people who were also scammed and then code-name-Voldemort had to cough up $53 for every person HE scammed.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

You'll notice in my last post that I was scammed out of $90! I feel like someone in the legal system is bad at maths.

 $90
-$53
______

$37

And then the real problem is that I got scammed out of $25 on Saturday by a lady in the Costco Parking lot who kissed my cheek with red lipstick and explained the cloud patterns of Southern Nevada to me. This is another story I will take to my grave.

   $37
+ $25
______

$62

All I'm sayin is, Karma owes me $62 so I can pay the Universe my bill for being naive.

Which is probably a billion dollar bill.

Good thing a Nigerian Prince just e-mailed me today with some good news...