Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Somehow mummy children are less fascinating and more depressing...

I went to the Neues Museum this week and spent a couple hours on their first floor ancient Egyptian exhibit. Holy. Cow. Talk about a lot of extremely old and historically significant things all in one room! Which is exactly what I plan on doing...(with pictures of course.) I'll try and just stick to the highlights, but in reality, the whole museum was incredible!

*Side note: this post is being written between breaks I've been taking while I wait for more "Lost" to load. Even when you live in Europe, some things just can't be abdicated. That's going to explain any sporadic or disjointed comments. If you feel the need to read this post between breaks from watching YOUR favorite online television show, I won't be offended. Scouts honor.

I am 100% certain that you are about 99.3% skeptical of the notability of this picture. Which means that approximately .7% of you is thinking...there's got to be more to this or she wouldn't have wasted her time blogging about it. I'm going to give you around four seconds to think about the probability that the .7% in you is correct before I slam you with the fun little fact that this Lion statue is tenatively FIVE THOUSAND YEARS OLD!!!!!! No jokes. Just to put that into a little perspective for you: this guy could be Mufasa's great-grandpa x 500.

This one really got me. I swear I had a folding chair just like this that my mom kept in the pantry growing up. Except this one is from around 1540 b.c. Dear mankind, this is kind of embarassing that we haven't progressed much in the way of folding chairs in 3,500 years.

Funny Story: There are no ropes or barriers of any kind around these sarcophoguses. But there ARE super grouchy German women who will verbally face-punch you in a language you don't understand if you get in any way too close. Anyways, one of them really must have been slacking when I took this picture because right after I did, an old man walked by and set a bunch of books and a water bottle on top of one of them while he fixed his jacket. It took him around 15 seconds before he realized that he had just put his newest copy of "Rick Steve's guide to Europe" on top of one of mankind's oldest artifacts. He kind of freaked out and most definitely left the room (and probably the museum) pretty soon after. The museum was kind of empty since it was a Tuesday morning so I'm pretty sure I was the only one who saw and I couldn't stop laughing. Don't worry old man, I won't tell a soul.

There's no doubt in my mind that this thing is straight out of Narnia. RIP Aslan.

My main goal almost the entire time I was in this museum was to see an actual mummy, mostly since I never have. We searched and searched and saw plenty of tombs and creepy egyptian tomb artifacts, but no actual mummies. Then, in the last room we tried, we found these...three children mummies. Feel free to revert now to the title of this post for my feelings on this subject. I don't know why seeing a really old, dead ADULT body all wrapped and dried up is super cool, and seeing three child siblings similarly shriveled is not, but its just the way things are.

I'm sure had we looked harder, or on other floors, we could have found a real life adult mummy king or queen of some kind, but by this point I had really hit my museum wall. This happens in almost every museum and I'd like to refer to it as my "Miley Cyrus" museum moment. Its the part where I start to feel a little dizzy and nauseous, extremely exhausted and a little fed up with humanity. Its almost exactly how I feel every time "The Climb" comes on the radio. I guess I just have a set amount of emotional capacity available for extremely precious artifacts and melodramatic teenage popstars, and once I reach that capacity I have about fifteen seconds to leave the museum/smash my car radio to bits before things get ugly.

I'm pretty sure the mummies will be just as dead the next time I go.
Here's hoping,


  1. a. good work like the new blog header. more germanish.
    b. hah. seriously katie? you're funny. sehr lustig as they say over here.

  2. Kate, I like this blog. You are funny. I really had now idea. ;)

  3. Katie, this was funny. And as Rachel had to leave seminary graduation exactly two seconds after it ended to go see the last episode of lost I guess you two are not as different as you think. Both of you put everything on hold just to see Lost. For the life of me I don't understand...but oh well!!!. Love you, Mom

  4. Katie,
    I love reading your blog. Your writing is so funny and just what I need to brighten my day. Keep it up!

  5. Katie I like this blog very much. I never knew you were this funny. Actually I did. Deep down inside I just got that feeling that you are naturally hilarious. Love you lots. Have fun in Germany. Your favorite brother. NOT Jordan.

  6. Who is this mysterious E and why is he claiming to be your favorite brother? Great blog post. This is the kind of blogging that needs to happen more. Soon you might have the fame of Mark "The Shark" Titus and his blog,